Sorry, No Happy Endings Here

Posted from Colva Beach, Goa, India

After Lizzi's post about the girls' experience with the Ayurvedic massage, I think it's only fair that I present the guys' story. Much of it is the same. Chris and I walked into a room with two tables, two chairs, and two, strapping, young Sri Lankan men ready to oil us down. Having enjoyed massages in Thailand and Laos where you are required to keep your clothes on, I was a little surprised when our masseurs (the correct term for a male masseuse) told us to drop trou. But having spent several years in the military, we knew better than to ask questions. We kept our boxers on, because let's face it, Chris and I are close, but not quite that close, and at this point, maintaining at least a shred of dignity felt like a major victory. They directed us to the chairs, and we sat down. And the dude poured oil on my head.

At that point I closed my eyes, hummed silently to myself, and desperately searched for my happy place. The rest of the massage proceeded without incident. Of course, until Chris's masseur told him, "Now, up, and look up." So Chris did as he was told. He stood up and stared at the ceiling, thinking it was all part of the massage experience. His masseur politely corrected him that "up" meant "stand up and lie down on the table next to you", and "look up" meant "lay on your back". Frankly, I could see how Chris was confused.

Nearly an hour later the massage ended. Chris stood, wobbly-legged, and went to the shower. I followed a few minutes later. Unlike the girls, there was no awkward moment of having to shoo our masseurs out of the shower. Moreover, there were no happy endings (sorry, Go and Andy). We each took a shower, got dressed, and waited for the girls in the lobby.

Clearly, our story is less harrowing and has a paucity of "what do you do with your bits?" moments, but for the sake of completeness, I thought it would be nice to share.